Lee Chin Lin Jacqueline
12 Apple Crescent
Singapore 123456
+65 8976 8765
Jacqueline@es2007s.com
8 February 2012
BMSI Business Centre (BBC)
Agency for Science, Technology and Research
20 Biopolis Way
#07-01 Centros
Singapore 138668
Dear Hiring Manager,
I am expressing my interest in the above-mentioned position as advertised online at Jobstreet on 7th February 2012.
I will be graduating from National University of Singapore (NUS) with a Bachelor of Science degree, majoring in life science with a specialization in biomedical science in June 2013. Being part of your company is a big opportunity for me given my keen interest and passion in immunology. SiGN’s aim of expanding and strengthening immunology research in Singapore will positively impact our community and I hope to be part of this.
In my course of study at NUS, I have gained relevant knowledge, skills and technique in research that will allow me to work efficiently in the laboratory. With a clear understanding in laboratory procedure, I will be able to assist research groups without hindering the project's progress. With an inquisitive mind and an ability to think on my feet, I believe I’ll be able to contribute positively to research progress as these are mandatory qualities of a researcher.
On top of having worked in labs in NUS, I’ve also had opportunity to intern at Kemin Industries where I had the chance to work on bacteria cultures. This experience had taught me valuable skills in the field of research and had allowed me to familiarize myself in labs. Hence, I am comfortable to work in laboratories and have also learnt to be flexible and adaptive to accommodate to the schedule and needs of the project researchers.
Apart from being well equipped with relevant knowledge and research techniques, I am also a good team member. I served as the Sports Director of the 30th Science Club Management Committee and have gained valuable insights of being both a team leader and member. I understand the importance of excellent teamwork and complementation in a research group and is willing to be a supportive team player.
Last but not least, I am willing to learn new techniques and make up for any lack of experience as a fresh graduate with diligence.
Thank you for taking time to consider my application. I hope to hear from you soon.
Yours sincerely,
Ms Jacqueline Lee
Hi Jacq!
ReplyDeleteIt was a lovely read!
I just felt that it would be more coherent to put "I hope my assistance to the projects will be able to contribute to the success of new discoveries." at the end of the previous para, rather than having it stand alone.
Overall, it was highly user-centered and very focused. It felt very concrete too, with the specific examples given. Good job(:!
hey jacq. i think you did a good job of showing how your experiences and skills match up to the job requirement. however there are a few minor stuff i'd like to bring out.
ReplyDeletefirstly, at the beginning of your letter, you say "above-mentioned position" when you have yet to state the position you are interested in. i think it's probably because you rearranged your letter and forgot to correct that but be sure to fix that for the final one to be submitted k? and also, what is SiGN??
and also in the third paragraph. you started 2 sentences with "with a". i think it might sound better if you tried using different sentence structures so it doesn't sound respective.
another thing that i think you could work on is on conciseness (i do too!). like i notice you have a few repetitive statements like "i am a good team member" followed by "a supportive team player.
oh and i don't think you can use "intern" as a verb. i believe that is colloquial or perhaps acceptable only in American english. so i suggest you say you participated in an internship at...and i noticed you used "I've" and "I'll". i think it's best to keep it less colloquial and say I have and I will instead to ensure a formal tone.
well i guess all i've pointed out are just technicalities so i think you've done pretty good. if there might be anything to suggest for the content, i would say try to be more employer-specific. like why SiGN specifically, or why this area of research. i don't think it'd be absolutely necessary but i think it would show that you invested effort in knowing what exactly the company does/what you're going to research on etc.
all in all, great job and i like how you kept linking back to your relevance to the job.
*repetitive instead of respective for my third para
DeleteHi Jacq! (:
ReplyDeleteThe content is good because it covers the various aspects of your life and I like the flow of your letter. However, I realized that there are two different fonts and font sizes in the letter. It makes reading the letter uncomfortable.
Also, if "SiGN’s aim of expanding and strengthening immunology research in Singapore will positively impact our community and I hope to be part of this." was meant as a highlight, you may want to consider making it bold instead of changing the sentence to a lighter color. And you might want to change the sentence to "I hope to join SiGN as I am greatly inspired by its aim of expanding ... ". as the previous sentence seemed to end abruptly for me. But its really your choice! (:
Apart from that, good job! (: